I had become accustomed to thinking about my son’s growing up in measurable ways: the number of months in his age, pounds weighed, number of words that he could speak, developmental milestones reached, number of naps taken per day.
But now I realize that he’s becoming his own little separate person in ways that are impossible to quantify: the silly songs that he makes up in his crib to sing himself to sleep, the belly laugh that he gives when he’s feeling a volatile mix of tired and happy, his confident charging from place to place with no glance backward to check if Mommy is there.
At the park yesterday he ran around the play structure in full toddler force. He was tired at the end of the long afternoon, fighting off a cold. He was irritable, hungry, weepy, yet defiant about leaving the park.
When I tried to pick him up to carry him to the stroller, he screamed and kicked so wildly that I put him down. He took off for the trees, bushes, and picnic table to the far side of the play ground, running faster than any two year old should be capable. He stopped quickly in his tracks when he saw a boy of about eight or ten sitting at the picnic table with his family with a giant bubble wand in one hand.
As his family talked in Spanish loudly around him, eating snacks and drinking soda, the boy met my son’s gaze, ignoring me and inhaling for a few seconds to prepare for a long exhalation of bubbles. My son was transfixed by the anticipation of waiting to see what this big boy would do.
As the bubbles sparkled in the fading afternoon light, my son danced around the picnic table, touching the bubbles, jumping and laughing. I sat down in the grass, relieved to have a few seconds of peace. After several minutes, my son looked around for me and then smiled when he caught my eye. The older boy had stopped blowing bubbles and was turning back to his family.
My son kept smiling at me and then charged over to the boy. Watch this, Mommy, his gaze said to me.
“Thank you for bubbles,” my son said to the boy clearly and then toddled back over to me, taking my hand. He led me to the stroller, allowed me to put him in, and took a sip of juice.
My son has the tears and screams of a baby, the fearlessness and curiosity of a toddler, the purity of heart of a young child, the dismissive glances of an adolescent. He is his own person, ready to share his happiness and gratitude with others. My son is growing up and suddenly he is every age at once.
Was there a moment when you realized that your child wasn’t a baby or a toddler anymore?
I love this! Very beautiful. Those moments of clarity are so precious and rare. For me, it was when my first born was about 13 months old. He was sitting in the front of a shopping cart when he started humming and bobbing. I looked around for a second and then realized he was singing and dancing to the music playing in the store. I had tuned it out and didn’t even notice it until that moment, but he had taken notice. He was enjoying the rhythms that I had become conditioned to ignore and filter out. It was eye opening to me that he is his own person, not just an extension of me.
Beautiful post! It’s always bitter sweet to see your little ones getting more and more independent, one part of me wants them to stay little but the other part is so proud of how they growing and the people they are becoming! Thanks for linking with us for WDW!
Jessica, that last paragraph describes my Nate perfectly. He’ll be two in early Nov. I think I knew he wasn’t a “baby” anymore when my big kids announced it recently. He’s keeping up with them more. Exciting and scary!
Such a beautiful post. I frequently look at my two-year-old with astonishment. It seems like overnight she went from completely dependent to independent. It’s stunning.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful image of a little boy growing up.
xoxo
Thank you, Jennifer! Two year olds are the funniest, most interesting little creatures, aren’t they? They’re trying every possible way to declare their independence, but then sometimes want their mommies!
xoxox. Love.
This is so beautiful. Little boys really are pure magic.
As mom to twin boys that will be 3 in a few short months I understand completely. I am amazed at the little people my babies are turning into. The first time one of them kissed my face of his own accord and told me it was ok (I am an emotional mommy; I cry – often) I cried all the harder because I knew he was growing up. Of course, when they both give me a look and tell me “Me mad now” I also know they are no longer babies!
I love it when my son wants a hug or gives me a kiss just because he wants one. Isn’t that amazing?
What a sweet boy. I love watching them grow but it’s bittersweet eh?
I knew my boy was growing up when I kissed him good-bye on his very first day of school.
I’ll never forget it.
I think I’ll need about a year of intense preparation for that moment, the first day of school. There’s this amazing picture of my little sister (the youngest) when she was getting on the school bus on her first day of kindergarten. My mom said she was blubbering in the background!
So beautiful. It is amazing to see them develop a personality, and a sense of themselves. When my kids started talking about their friends, it made me realize how much bigger they were getting!
My son will sometimes mention his teacher’s name or some of his preschool friends, and I do have to admit that it was hard at first that he had this whole other separate world at preschool that I didn’t know about!
This was a beautiful description of a significant moment that only you knew was so significant. I love this post. I had a moment just last week when I was picking up my four-year-old from school. He announced he was thirsty, took out a mineral water bottle from his backpack and drank from it. I was mesmerized looking at how self sufficient he had become.
This is such a sweet story. I think my moment was when my son first said he was sorry and you could see in his eyes that he truly was sorry and it sunk in that he hurt someone. The hurt/ guilt he felt just broke my heart, but yet he handled it in such a grown up manner.
This is so beautiful! I’m going through exactly the same phase. Just yesterday I had this very moment when my toddler went down the slide by himself without waiting for me to stand at it’s foot. It’s amazing watching them grow like that!
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